Three More Great Recipes By Elzar
by werewolfatemyphoenix
Summary: Ever wanted to learn how to cook? Well now you can with "Three More Great Recipes" By Elzar. Learn how to make delicacies such as Moon Worm filét with TV chef Elzar. Disclaimer: You may not actually learn how to cook by reading this.
1. Moon Worm Filet

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Futurama. I am eagerly waiting the day the copyright runs out so I can claim it for myself and do diabolical things (Insert evil laugh here). It currently belongs to the great one Matt Groening. And I think Fox has something to do with it as well.

Moon Worm Filet sautéed in Moon Cheese Sauce By Elzar

From the traditional Martian recipe, for your dining pleasure, the only way to eat moon worm. Well the only decent way.

Ingredients

500 g Moon worm (Preferably fresh, evaporated fine)

1 Packet Soylent Green

6 Bottles Malt Liquor (If your malt liquor has been stolen by robot, use toilet water)

7 Cloves of Garlic (For that extra bam)

1 Block premium moon cheese (Don't use the cheap crap. It has been known to cause sonic diarrhoea)

Any other crap you find lying around

Method

Preheat oven to 5000º (You wont actually use the oven, but it sounds better if a recipe tells you to)

Finely crush garlic (It better brings out the flavour to take your anger out on it. Pretend it's your ex boyfriends lower horn.)

Simmer in pan with a dash of the finest motor oil (None of that olive crap)

Add two bottles of malt liquor (Keep the other four for yourself. Use the one for you, four for me method)

Slice soylent green into small pieces. Add to pan

Add thin pieces of Moon Worm

In a separate pot melt moon cheese. (Weapons grade plutonium helps it melt and adds flavour. It will give you a healthy glow, which is nothing to worry about. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!)

Add moon cheese sauce to filet. To knock it up a notch give the whole thing a blast from your spice weasel. BAM!

Eat, enjoy and keep ambulance on speed dial.

(Note: Elzar and Elzar's fine cuisine do not accept responsibility for any injuries, drunk misdemeanours, illness or death related to this dish. You eat it at your own risk)

**A/N:** So tell me what you think. Or don't. Whatever makes us both happy Stay tuned there will be more great recipes by Elzar to come.


	2. Brain Slug Salad

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Futurama. It belongs to the great one, Matt Groening. I think Fox washes his car or something….

Brain Slug Salad.

Ingredients:

5 Freshly picked Brain Slugs (Make sure you use garlic shampoo before picking, and wear a hat)

6 Bottles Tabasco Sauce

2 Heaping bowls of Salt

The Blood of a human (Freshly drained preferred, canned suitable)

7 Bottles of Tequila (you'll only need one bottle for the actual recipe, but it tastes better when drunk)

1 Bag Bachelor Chow

2 Pounds Butter

5 Pounds Nachos grade American cheese

Leaves of evil talking salad tree found in the forbidden zone

Method: 

Place Brain Slugs on baking tray. Pour on salt

Mix the human blood and Tabasco sauce in with the bachelor chow to make a cheap effective marinade. (When I say effective I mean it'll take the paint off your hover car. It isn't necessarily edible or nutritious)

Pour marinade over Brain Slugs

Put butter and nachos grade American cheese in a bowl. Leave in Nuclear reactor for 4.56 minutes until melted.

Mix into Slugs then find a dry cleaner that specialises in radioactive fallout.

Put mixture in oven for 5 ½ hours until blackened to a crisp.

Take evil leaves, put in large bowl. Add brain slug mixture. Pour in bottle of tequila and add a blast from your spice weasel. Bam.. yeah you know how it works…

Note: Elzar and Elzar's fine cuisine do not accept responsibility for any injuries, drunken misdemeanours, illness or time travel related to this dish. You eat it at your own risk)

**A/N: **Well another chapter. Does anyone care? Tell me if you think it's utter shit and I should leave school and get an actual job. Look the review button is just down there, hardly out of your way. Stay Tuned for "Unspeakable Horror From Beyond With Mango Chutney"...


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